Beware of the Second Wave for Cops and Their Kids
By Dan Goldfarb and Mary Keesee

This article appeared in Off Duty Magazine after the TWA 800 plane crash. Off Duty magazine is edited by Mary Keesee. It is published quarterly by the Suffolk County Police Memorial Fund for police families. For more information about this magazine, to subscribe, advertise, or submit a publication call: (516) 929-5796.


     Dr. Dan Goldfarb from Suffolk's PBA Psychological Services warns, "Probably towards the end of September or beginning of October when the rescue phase of the TWA Crash Flight 800 incident is officially closed, we will see a second wave of post traumatic stress effecting those officers working the crash scene." After speaking with some of Suffolk's Marine Bureau personnel, Dr. Goldfarb says he pointed out, and they agreed, that there are two distinct "waves" when rescue workers are subject to the symptoms associated with critical incident stress.

     Immediately after the crash, for example, when Marine Bureau officers worked long hours on the water pulling in bodies, and when Emergency Services officers were processing bodies and debris, the critical first wave of stress occurred. According to Dr. Goldfarb, "During that first wave: only a few cops got a little shaky. The others were upset They were stressed, but they were coping."

     The second wave occurs when an incident is officially over. In this case it may be eight or ten weeks later, "That's when we potentially could see signs of stress starting," explained Goldfarb. Even now, six weeks following the crash, some officers may be experiencing common symptoms typically associated with the second wave. They may be experiencing sleeplessness, nightmares, or just crying. "Most cops see lots of dead bodies, but rarely do they see the extend and the mutilation they've seen in this incident," he added.

How does this effect Cop's Kids?

     When a parent is going through the first wave, kids are going to keep quiet "They're not going to say anything, because they are going to protect their parents," says Dr. Goldfarb. "It's similar to the way children react early on when going through a divorce, when they see that mom or dad is really upset. Often kids are very quiet and well behaved in the early phase of divorce. They don't say much. But, after a few months, that's when a lot of kids begin to show signs of behavior problems, like moodiness, etc."

     "That's the kind of thing we have to look for here," cautions Dr. Goldfarb. "It's very easy to say, 'Hey, two months into the crash and they're fine', but it may not be true!"

     The cop's kids are not going to be as traumatized as kids who have actually lost parents or siblings, those kids of course will be more traumatized; but that doesn't mean that some cop's kids aren't likely to experience nightmares, and they may have a lot of questions. They may wonder about their own safety and the safety of their parent Parents should anticipate dealing with the questions their kids might ask.

     Children react to stress in different ways. However, there are some common behaviors that parents might see as a result of a disaster or disaster-related disruption. Children at different ages also respond to stressful circumstances in different ways. For example, regressive behavior is more likely among younger children (under 7 years), while acting out and withdrawal is more common among older children. The main thing to remember, however, is that the best indicator of distress is unusual changes in behavior or appearance.

     The stress experienced during the second wave for the cops is often characterized as deeper, more long lasting feelings of anxiety. "Shortly after the second wave hits the cops, or in about that same period of time, some of the kids may be a little 'spooked". They wont be shattered at that point, but they might be disrupted when the second wave hits. Parents who suspect their children may be effected should look for signs of distress and follow the guidelines suggested below.

Signs of Distress
  1. Regressive behavior (acting like a younger child): thumb sucking; loss of toilet training skills; separation difficulties (crying, fussing or clinging when parents leave); difficulty in making transitions; increased whining, dependency, or becoming more needy and demanding,
  2. Disaster-related fears (rain, thunder, wind, etc.),
  3. Difficulty sleeping, nightmares,
  4. Lack of emotional expression,
  5. Looking sad or depressed, crying,
  6. Being unusually quiet or withdrawn,
  7. Apathy, being uninterested in things that were usually enjoyed,
  8. Complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or other symptoms of illness,
  9. Acting out, aggression, disobedience, talking back, destructiveness, stealing,
  10. Outbursts of anger, irritability, sudden changes in mood, or play with dolls etc. as a way of expressing their fears.
  11. Distractibility, poor concentration, attention problems, restlessness, daydreaming,
  12. Lethargy, fatigue, sleeping in the classroom,
  13. Increased absences from school or tardiness,
  14. Declining school performance,
  15. Changes in relationships with peers (suddenly spending a lot more or a lot less time with friends).

Although symptoms may result from trauma caused by direct exposure to disaster events, they may also be due to disruptions in relationships, roles and routines caused by the disaster (for example: Seeing dad or mom working a lot of overtime and coming home upset). It is important to note that while symptoms displayed by children may be a response to a disaster or disaster-related disruptions, they may also reflect conditions that were present before the disaster. The stresses and strains caused by a disaster may have revealed or exacerbated pre-existing difficulties.

Who is at Risk?

In general, children who are most likely to be affected by disasters are those who:

  1. Directly experienced or had the greatest exposure to the disaster (suffered an injury, had a family member die or get injured, has a parent who is affected by the disaster due to their job requirements, felt they were in physical danger; or witnessed a frightening event),
  2. Experienced major disruptions in relationships (especially within the family), roles, daily routines that result in long-term changes and strains,
  3. Had psychological or academic difficulties prior to the disaster.

Helping Your Child
  1. Do not lie to child about the events. It is okay not to go into gruesome details, but children can tell if an adult is withholding information and their imaginations often paint a worse scenario then the truth. In addition, since the adult withheld information, the child may believe that he is not allowed to talk with his parents about his/her fears.
  2. Reassure the child that they are safe, or that their parents are safe. Emphasize the small probability of the disaster occurring again. Emphasize how unlikely this tragedy is to befall them.
  3. Ask the child about his/her fears. Let them talk about these fears without interruption. If appropriate let them draw pictures
  4. Validate the child's fears. Let them know that it is normal and expected for them to have these fears.
  5. Take the mystery out of their fears. Let them know that adults have these fears also and that they wilt ~o away with time. Reassure them that having the fear does not mean that they are in danger themselves.
  6. Understand that to some extent being exposed to a disaster represents a loss of innocence for a child and some of their emotions are in part grieving this loss.

     Concerned about negative fearful messages that children receive, parents frequently ask Dr. Goldfarb whether or not he thinks they should allow their children to watch the news on TV or permit them to watch programming that depicts disasters. Noting that his views on the subject are "politically incorrect" Dr. Goldfarb reveals, "In general, the research on television alone - just television - is that it doesn't have as big an influence as people think." He adds, "The popular media is very into saying that television can harm kids. But, when you look at the scientific literature, that's not what it shows."
     Scientific research and literature show that there is a group of kids who are predisposed to certain behaviors, such as violence. When you expose that small group of kids to violence on television they become more violent. But for the average kid television by itself doesn't have as much influence on the average child as we might think. Dr. Goldfarb explained, "Children know television is make believe. What will have more bearing on kids of Suffolk police officers following the crash of TWA Flight 800, or the children in Oklahoma City, or children in general, is the added realism and personal message that television has if your parent is actually involved in that incident."

Identifying Children Who May Need More Help

Although many of the signs of stress listed in this article are considered normal responses to stress, children should be referred to mental health professionals for evaluation if:

  1. Symptoms signal a very unusual change in behavior or appearance, and persist for more than 2 weeks,
  2. Several different kinds of symptoms are seen (e.g., appears sad, complains of headaches, and sleeps in class),
  3. Symptoms are seen in different settings (in different classes, outside of school, 'at home, with peers),
  4. The child threatens or actually tries to harm themselves.



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