ARTICLES ON VARIOUS LIFE ISSUES FACED BY LAW ENFORCEMENT PERSONNEL

It was a couple of days after the plane crash and I was driving to work. Usually this is a relaxing time were I go over the day to come and people I will see. Today was different. I had heard enough stories to realize that I did not want to hear anymore stories. But that is my job, and after all nowhere near as bad as actually being there. I wanted to distract myself and tuned into Imus. I thought that this would buy me a few minutes of peace at least. No such luck. He was interviewing the GOD SQUAD. For those who don't know, the God Squad are a priest and rabbi who have a TV show and lecture. They attempt to bring a unified spirituality down to a level we can all understand. I am a believer in their cause. But why on the Imus show when I want to escape?

Imus does it; he asks why God would allow someone to down a plane with so many innocent people. I actually got interested at this point. If I could find comfort and understanding even from the Imus show, I'd take it. Their answer: God has given us the greatest gift of all, free will. With that people are able to do some atrocious things. But they are also able to do great things.

I mulled this over. I wasn't sure that this was comforting. As I thought about it I saw some truth to it. The cops I've worked with for over 11 years certainly saw themselves as take charge people. Much of their lives centered around being able to "do something!". Their jobs constantly put them in the position of choosing to put themselves in harms way. Much of their stress came from not being in control.

I also thought of the aftermath of the crash. It was clear that the cops involved were certainly choosing to go way beyond what they had to do to "earn their salary". They chose to do this. They chose to again put themselves in harms way. If not physically then certainly emotionally. They were risking injury and scars that could take longer to heal then many physical wounds. They chose to do this.

Scrooge was a cynic. It almost ruined his life. It certainly ruined a big portion of it. He was lucky, with some help he pulled it out at the end.

He did not start out that way. At one point, young, idealistic, he was merely a businessman who was able to see the good in people. He could feel happiness, he could trust, he could laugh and play and he could love. But he was a businessman and business can be a hard cruel game. You can almost see the path he wen down. Total idealism didn't work. Always seeing the good in people didn't work. You can get screwed in business that way. You need to learn healthy skepticism.

That deal the guy offers you might be good, but then again it might not. Be skeptical .. it helps you be careful. Be skeptical .. it protects you. Be skeptical .. it guards you against danger so you can protect yourself and your loved ones.

But somewhere Scrooge crossed the line. Instead of seeing the potential bad in life as a healthy skeptic should, he saw only bad in life. He became a cynic. His attitude was no longer protective, it was destructive. With only bad to look forward to, being on your guard is a waste of time .. you get careless. With only bad around you it is useless to try to have fun, to laugh, to love. You don't even make the attempt. Scrooge got a glimpse of all he lost and all that would be lost. He made a concerted effort to change. We never did find out if the change stuck, but I'm no cynic. I believe it did.

Cops are like Scrooge. They start out idealistic. But police work can be a cruel game. They must become skeptical. There is safety in skepticism. There is optimism in skepticism. The whole idea is that by being cautious, vigilant, and questioning one will make the right decisions. They will be safe. They will get to go home tonight.

But it does take work to be skeptical. Skepticism takes energy, constant evaluation, and constant analysis. Police work requires an immense amount of skepticism! Is it any wonder why police officers are susceptible to burnout? That burnout most often takes the form of cynicism .. the corruption of skepticism?

Cynicism is a coping mechanism that allows us to deal with the immense amount of stress and work it takes to be skeptical. Cynicism, by assuming that everything is unalterably negative, gives officers "permission" not to put the energy into each of the many situations he or she will have to face. Cynicism is easier than skepticism. But nowhere near as effective.

Cynicism is as dangerous for cops as it was for scrooge. Maybe more so .. no one was trying to shoot Scrooge. But here we are preparing for Christmas, perhaps one of the most sincere non-cynical times of the year. We know that it took the Christmas spirit to help Scrooge. Perhaps it is a good time for all cops (all people) to re-evaluate their own cynicism. Get back to basics! Be a SKEPTIC!

My first book, Keeping It Simple, was released to bookstores in mid-September of last year. What a strange mix of feelings and events it has brought.

The authors copies of the book arrived about three weeks before the release date. I was in the office alone. My partner was on vacation. None of my friends were home when I called. I wanted so much to share the event with someone, but like the many hours when I wrote....I was alone. So I left messages on a hundred machines; I screamed hooray; I hyperventilated a few times; and I even cried once. There was a scene in the Steve Martin movie "The Jerk," where the title character has a spastic celebration because the phone book arrives and his name is listed for the first time. "I'm a person," he exclaims. That was me. My book had arrived. I was finally a person, an author. Actually, I was really just another "jerk" who wrote a book.

The next step is to get the book to sell. I started going to book stores to do book signings. I still haven't figured out a profound thought to write in each person's book. I have written articles and appeared in magazines. Yes, that was me in the National Enquirer on the same page as O.J. wearing his smirk and Paula Abdul wearing an ankle to shoulder peek-a-boo dress. And finally, I went on talk shows. On one national morning talk show the host jokingly starts the interview by looking at me in the eye of the camera and saying, "Dr. Aumiller, your book Keeping It Simple seems to be very complicated reading." I respond jokingly, "Well Bill, it is written on a seventh grade level which might be a little too much for a TV journalist." His female co-host and the crew crack up throughout the whole eight minute interview. The host however was not so happy and made faces at me whenever the camera was not on him. I was aware of my mistake. He was not a "TV journalist," but a "TV talk show host." Fourth grade level would have been much more appropriate.

How long did it take to write the book? That is the question I am most often asked. I decided I wanted to write a self-help book when I was a junior in college. I guess I was twenty. First, you write a couple of agents to express the concept of a book. You get a ton of rejections and maybe an acceptance or two. They want a synopsis, proposal and a couple of sample chapters. Then you re-write and re-write and make it salable to publishers. Once you get a contract from a publisher, you have to write the rest of the book.

How long did it take?

I wrote eighteen chapters in only one month. Unfortunately, the book has 21 chapters. It took three years and over 5000 pages to get the first three chapters into acceptable form and style. More importantly, the first word took 14 years to write.

....And if I am really lucky, and go through the process five or six more times with new books; I can be an overnight success.

With Christmas shopping starting early I thought I'd tell you a little story about last year: I ran two therapy groups of cop's teen-agers last year, 16 young men and women total. I like the kids to do an exercise before the holidays. I have them write a fill-in-the-blanks letter to Santa (or Hanukkah) Claus. I ask them to give Santa a list of two material things, a personality trait, a change in their appearance, a relationship they want to improve and a fantasy that they want granted for Christmas (Hanukkah). It's corny, but it gets a lot out of the kids.

This year I added a line, "Santa, thank you for the _____________ you me brought last year." I figured I'd elicit an idea of the wonderful memories these kids have about Christmas. What I got was a lesson about Christmas.

Not one of the sixteen teen-agers could remember two gifts they had gotten the previous year. They filled in with ease everything they wanted that year, but not a single one could remember a gift from the year past. When I asked the kids who they were with or what they did, all sixteen could answer the question with a good anecdote about fun things and special times spent with people. Not one remembered what "things" they had gotten.

Why should I be surprised? After all, I only remember two gifts from my years of Christmas presents. When I was four or five years old I was given a toy drumset. I played it ten hours a day for a week. I probably wouldn't remember it but a week after Christmas my parents told me someone broke into the house and stole it (nothing else, only the toy drumset).

I also got an official James Bond 007 briefcase when I was seven or eight. It had a cap loaded booby trap, a fold-up rifle, and a secret decoder ring. I remember it because I shot my older brother in the eye with a toy bullet and we had to call the doctor on Christmas Day. I think the same burglars stole the briefcase, too.

I do remember the Christmas night card games with my grandparents. The kids always seemed to win. That was really Christmas. I remember the whole family making homemade ravioli Christmas Eve. That was Christmas. I remember the whole family playing the popular board game that year, though I don't remember any of the names of the games. That was Christmas! And, I remember all of the family sitting around the table, and grandpa's war stories, and dad as Santa Claus, and .... I won't continue. I'd rather you fill in your own memories.

My brother has a Christmas tradition in his family where, every Christmas since his children could talk, he has taped an interview with them, first years on audio tape, then on videotape. Each Christmas we watch the present year's tape, the tape five years before, and now we listen to the tape ten years before. This is Christmas!

If you are feeling a little over stressed because you're not buying that new game system for your child, or that $10,000 stereo your teen-ager wants, decide that you'll make this Christmas with memories, not gifts. Keep family participation in mind when you make plans. Buy gifts that involve people. Worry about the Christmas feeling, instead of meeting everyone's demands for possessions. You'll have a better Christmas. The best gift in the world is one where you share an experience. A certificate for a trip to the zoo, a ticket to join you at a movie or a show, or from the kids, a day of waiting on your parents hand-and-foot are all good gifts that mean something. Perhaps this is the Christmas for you to start your own family tradition.